I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
