Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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