I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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