Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
