i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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