I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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