I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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