IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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