I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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