We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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