So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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