i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
