Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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