Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my shit smells like andre
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
