dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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