what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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