No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
