My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
