why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
