This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
