We named our party play list daddy issues
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
