i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
