So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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