Since when is my name a synonym for head?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
