whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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