I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
wow bdsm is so cute
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