I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
please come you make the beer taste better
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
