sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
