What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
