Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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