It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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