sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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