I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
