He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
