I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All the doctor said was why
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize