She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
