so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
