Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
