and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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