margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
