week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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