so let's talk penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
