I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
