would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
