That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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