The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
