no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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