so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
