I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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