? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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