If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
