we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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