No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
