Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
